ubuntu update problems

hi i have acquired a laptop working on xubuntu 8.10 and it seems a very odd setup, although very good and i am very very impressed with the limited time ive had using this system.

Ive never used xubuntu before and i would appreciate any help to hand.
in short i think the installation i have is a bit fragmented and looks nothing like screen shots ive seen on web pages.

i have four icons on desk top: file system, waste basket, entertainment and home and thats it ....

I have no system tool bar and therefore limited use of any applications i wish to add. I have no problem accessing the net however , to do this i need to right click on desktop and click help which opens my browser.... Firefox.

i tried to update to a newer version of xubuntu via cdrom to see if this would sort out the perceived problem i have but the disc will not boot from disc drive.
all downloads ive tried to upgrade the existing system version for instance open office etc go into Firefox down loader then i am asked to open with an application but cant find any to open the download with.

I would like to use xubuntu to its best but i am stumbling around in the dark... are you able to help me please or if not send this to anyone on mailing lists that may be able to do so.

kindest regards,

john